Choked

I guess I will be pretty critical in this entry.

In contrary to Asians, I think I'm similar to the Whites in a way that I feel its time to move out of the house and live independently.

I hate living off my mum and most importantly I need my personnel space. This is the very reason why I left for SH and am so eager to find jobs with oversea opportunities.Honestly, I really appreciate the love my mum gives, but sometimes I feel really obligated and choked to perform "social responsibilities" imposed by Singapore values. The very thought of me moving out of the house is immediately equated to being not filial - that is how my mum and my relatives think.

It is not like I'm going to ditched her or what. I promise I will repay everything back to her, even with interest. However she has to somehow understand that children aren't going to be their 3yrs old children forever and parents have to learn to let go eventually.

All I wish is just some personnel space for myself. And I need people to learn to respect me. Yes I have gained my brother's respect and I am very proud of it. But not from my mum. She still views me as a child, like a child and treat me like one - which irks me badly. She just have to learn about mutual respect and not stepping across the line!

Which makes me miss my Shanghai god-ma badly. To think we are 30+ years old apart and yet we clique like close friends due to our similar circumstances.

Too much love is not necessarily good. Especially love that is not effectively expressed.